To My Future Husband

 Mine future husband , my words stretch out to you ,

you who are possibly a stranger , miles away in some foreign land or maybe not that far , no one can tell .

but that is what makes us beautiful , right? The thought that our story is yet to be written . A preparation , not for perfection but so we will fit just right . The thought that our story will start from two imperfect humans to a unity so deep , strengthened by God's grace . 

Mine perfect stranger , my name is Shiey Wambura , a few others call me Mary but I wouldn't mind if you picked a name just you can call me . I am a little messy around people and could pass for an introvert but you'll come to realize that an ambivert fits better , when I'm not hiding  from human intrusion in my little space with more books than furniture I  am the noise and you will hear my loud laughter and my unapologetic raspy voice , my dark humor , kind ways and open heart. 

You should know that my heart has been broken a few times , broken by a lover I was true to , broken by a superior who for some reason just didn't like me , broken by friends I shared special memories with , broken by family that didn't know what I really needed . You should know that at times I get lost and don't really know how to handle situations because no one taught me how to , it is at such moments that I will need you to not shout at me or raise a hand on me but to take my hand and pray with me . To reassure me that life is a journey and journeys have rough edges , roads have bumbs , oceans have waves and tides , planes are affected by storms and our relationship isn't any different .

Mine future husband , don't come looking for perfection for I can't promise you will find that . What you will find is an African girl whose hair shrinks after a wash , whose nails break after doing the laundry but those same fingers will hold you when you are breaking down , whose voice gets loud when Shiey's angry but will soften and talk through the issues we'll face , you will find a girl who breaks down over the tiniest of things , that promise you broke , that call you didn't make , that night you come home late and won't tell me what's bothering you, because at the end of the day those little things matter . I would want you to talk to me when we don't agree on something , talk to me when you don't like how I always forget to lock the back door , talk to me when I unconsciously do or don't do that thing that bothers you.

And when you kiss me , let it be deep , the kind of kiss where for a moment all that makes sense is me and you . Let every moment remind us of our first kiss , of the first time you look deep into my eyes and tell me ' I love you '. Of that first time our hands touched as we walked and we laughed at the awkwardness of it . Let every moment remind us that even on our worst days it's us against the problem and not against each other . 

I pray that when we finally get our first child , we will know how to adapt to parenthood , we will know how to put our ego aside and make sacrifices for this being grown out of love and may the love always be enough to make us stay when all we want to do is leave .

Dear future husband , I will love you but most of all I will respect you and be loyal to you for I still believe that a good relationship is founded on the grounds of respect and understanding . 

I pray that where ever you are may the light guide you to walk on a righteous path . May you know how to handle storms that come your way . May you know how to love yourself first , to love your imperfections and acknowledge them for that's what makes you , you . May you be a man wise enough to listen but bold enough to stand by what you believe in . I know you will be a man who stands out , who stops to reason before acting out , who loves and colors my life for that's why I will love you and I will always bend a knee to give thanks for you , to pray for strength and a journey I want to walk with you . To a story that is yet to be written . To a love that adds one more star in the night sky . I love you. 

_Shiey , your future wife 😚