La douleur exquise

 Each story has a start and it's so unfortunate I was so zoned out to take a record of ours . My memories are still a bit hazy but I remember a figure walking in and passing blunts in between the whiskey shots . As a writer I'd have loved to have a clearer image , just enough to paint a picture of how bold and exquisite you looked at that moment because that's how I picture it . 

We rarely acknowledge this but everything has a timeline , like a kings ruling era or a stopwatch during a morning run and it stops as suddenly as it starts . 

One evening we are complete strangers the next we are this inseparable beautiful duo . Together we made magic. You the moon on a peaceful night and I autumn leaves blowing across a moonlit street.

You taught me to be less uptight , to laugh and live in the moment, to see the bigger picture in everything , to love loudly and exist .

I can still taste the memories on my lips

little precious tangible moments 

like when my cramps hurt so bad but you still came , cuddled with me despite having a project you needed to work on 

or when you did your happy dance after winning an argument 

or the first time you beat me at card games 

These unknown to us were a build up in our story, now they are just images stuck in our minds and will eventually fade and be lost forever. 

Pain is in the air , so fresh and deep it's  hard to breath .

 We can both feel it , the clock ticking , an indefinite end , an unspoken message . It's in the edge of our laughter , our clumsy hugs , those uneasy calls . A phase of beauty , laughter , mistakes and life we have to leave behind to unleash a finer version of ourselves . An end to our story , turns out we were not written in the stars .